Ladies you squat, deadlift, lunge and squat some more. All of this leads to what is commonly known as the crossfit booty. Your jeans are harder to get into, your derriere starts to get more stares, and you carry yourself with a little more swag and confidence. Embrace your booty with these 10 life lessons you can learn from having a little junk in your trunk by Laura Argintar.
Having an especially plump butt is no small feat(ure). Your life, much like your body, is not one straight line. Oftentimes there are burdens that stand in your way, but you know how to make plenty of room for yourself (chalk it up to years of squeezing into the middle seat).
It comes as no surprise that there are way more songs, poems, exercises and literature devoted to your bottom-half than the top; there’s a lot more to praise. And it’s not just there for decoration, shelving or rap stars. We love our big bums for teaching us many key life lessons.
Make sure you read this until the very end — haven’t you realized that the good stuff always comes last?
Here’s what you can learn from your big ass:
1) Be there to catch yourself when you fall behind (or on your behind)
Learning to be reliant on yourself goes hand-in-hand with self-empowerment. Only you have the ability to pick yourself back up when you’re at your lowest — you can’t place that responsibility on anyone else.
That’s why we’re grateful for our little extra padding. It gives us a boost when we need it.
2) You can have your cake and eat it too
Seriously, what’s the point of having all this cake and not being able to eat it? If you work hard enough, you’ll earn it. And when it comes to something sweet, you should never feel bad about finishing the whole thing on your own.
3) Anything can be done if you put your back into it
Ice Cube said it best when he rapped, “you can do it put your back into it.” You sure can, ladies! That butt isn’t there just to look good, it’s there to get your ass moving.
Whatever it is you want to accomplish, stop getting in your own way and harness that energy into something productive.
4) Beware of backstabbers
By now you’re used to people coming at you from behind. You know how to watch your back, and (since we’re fairly certain you do some sort of squatting to keep that booty bountiful) you’re not afraid to kick someone’s major ass.
5) Your exit will always be better than your entrance
First impressions can be especially tough, but you’ll always leave them with something to look forward to.
6) Crack isn’t wack
Cracks, blemishes, flaws, all of it is beautiful. It’s about owning what you got and, lucky for you, you have a whole lot of it.
7) Fly by the seat of your pants
Trust your instincts and go for the things that scare you. You’re a pro at choosing what fits and looks best on you, so don’t second guess yourself when it comes to making decisions. You certainly have enough surface area to maneuver your way around.
8) Round is better
With personality, pizza, ideas, tables and, of course, drinks. Cheers to you and your lovely lady lumps.
9) Uniform is boring
It’s okay if your bottom doesn’t match your top; mixing-and-matching is much more interesting. You’ve got more to love where it counts, so don’t sell yourself short.
10) Your life is bootyful
And the best part is, like your backside, there is a lot more to love the further down you go.
Chris Spealler is not only a CrossFit legend, but he's arguably the best bodyweight specialist to ever compete at the CrossFit Games. Watching him fly through muscle ups or handstand walk his way past the competition was truly amazing and inspiring to watch.
With over a decade of CrossFit experience as both a coach and athlete, and with 6 Games appearances, Chris Spealler has racked up a wealth of knowledge on proper movement and technique.